Me and My Girlfriend :)

As of this moment, I am with my girlfriend for 1 year, 9 months, 20 days and counting. And I cannot wait until we reach our 2nd year anniversary…much more when that time comes when I can say that we are together for life.

Somehow, at the onset, this year’s haven’t been good to our relationship, due to many factors of which I would be depressed if still remembered. If it is possible to erase it in our history, I would gladly take that. But the fact remains that it won’t happen, and the best thing to do to those “dark moments” is mold them to something where both of us can learn. I give my girlfriend the credit for this one for two reasons: she has more maturity in dealing with this kind of relationship, and she is the one who in spite of anything and everything, continues to stay strong for us.

Actually, I cannot blame the time or the circumstance; I could just point at my actions and reactions which led to the unpleasant things that occurred in our relationship. Pointing fingers or playing the blame game isn’t part of my attitude. I cannot even blame her, why should I?

I can remember the time when I posted here some of the thoughts that I came up with regarding relationships. I can also remember that I mentioned in the last line that those thoughts remain as such unless lived. I tried to live those thoughts, some of them proved to be true in certain percentages, and some others still need to be reviewed and revised.

Going back, there were a lot of realizations that happened as my girlfriend and I go through our lives, as individual persons, and as a couple. Sometimes, I’m at fault of not knowing where the line is drawn. I admit that at times, I over-exaggerate, argue at almost everything and even shut my mind in what I want to think. She may not tell me, but I realize that there are times that both of us tend to hurt one another without both of us knowing. Still, I hold on to the thought that “success and failure of our relationship cannot be attributed to just one or the other, but on us both”. Since we’re still together, growing stronger and more faithful to one another…we’re still doing the right thing, in spite of all the rough edges that we had or have at this point

From the moment we first met back at 2005 until now, I won’t ask for anything to be changed, even if I’m given a chance to. Yes, things may have been better or more colorful, but I am more thankful at the fact that, through thick and thin, through the ups and downs that both of us shared…we continue to let each other know and feel that we are loved. Everything else follows.

I can continue on relating things about us, but let me stop for the meantime…
The truth remains: I love her so much, and she knows the rest :)

Blessings in my Academic Life

After the Foundation Week in our school, I decided to park my pen (or my typing fingers) for some time to focus in studying for both my undergraduate thesis and my comprehensive examination in Philosophy, dubbed as the “De Universa”.

I’ve been studying for the comprehensive examination ever since the start of the school year, however, the things that I’ve studied vanish from my mind after some time. With that situation, I start from the beginning once more. I’ve got seven philosophical treatises to familiarize (if not memorize) myself with (Critics, Metaphysics, Theodicy, Cosmology, Rational Psychology, General and Special Ethics); not counting the philosophy history subjects (Ancient, Medieval, Modern and Contemporary) and the electives (Political and Filipino Philosophy). Honestly, I am not an intellectual student who always got straight A’s or flat 1’s in the transcript…I have good grades with some, if not all, subjects; and that’s the point! Considering also that I am just a transferee student in my present school, I need to make a lot of adjustments. But, with how everything’s looking at this point, I think and believe that everything’s worth it.

Last February 27, we had our first part of the “De Universa”: the written examinations. Bro. Erik, our Pakistani classmate (through votes), picked the treatise from which the written examinations will focus. He picked Rational Psychology. Unfortunately for me, during exam day, I was overtaken by fear and panic…I know (even if I still don’t know the results) that I fell short of what I should have been able to accomplish. After I left the examination room, there was nothing but sorrow in my mind. I thought, “if this is what happened to me during the written exams, how worse will it be for the oral exams?!” I panicked some more.

A week before the oral examinations, I resigned myself to concentrate on the preparations (that is, after talking and seeking advice from those who I know I can trust, especially my girlfriend). They’re right, whatever happened in the past remains at the past, and I have to focus on the present. Though there’s still fear in me, I tried to give more time thinking about what to do and how to deal with the situation when the time comes for me to face the panel, present the theses that I picked, and as our prayer goes, present myself “with thoroughness and charm”.

March 6, the day of the oral examinations came. The examinations began with the sad news that one of our classmates decided to withdraw from the exams, the reason of which is personal (and I respect it). Thus, we were left with 4 examinees, in the following order: Bro. Jomar, Bro. Erik, Eric (a diocesan seminarian), and lastly, me. As some of us waited for our turn, Fr. Rey Dela Cruz (the Rector of the Salesian Post-novitiate community), gave us some words of advice, one of which was “It’s not our problem what our grades will be, it will be at the panel’s shoulders whether they’ll make us pass, or retake”. The other was this, as I remember it: “There were three people who thought of the idea of struggle. The first said that ‘I struggled, and I won’. The second said that ‘I struggled, I failed, but I stood up and won’. The last one said that ‘I struggled and I continue to struggle’.” He then asked me, who am I among the three. I said, “the answer would come after I finished my turn for the exams”.

My turn came at last at around 11:00 in the morning. As I picked my theses to present, I was silently praying to God to help me. My prayers were answered that time when I picked Thesis 1 of Cosmology: On the Essence of Quantity, and Thesis 7 of Special Ethics: On the Duties of Man towards God. The presentation came, and though I was not able to answer the entire panel’s questions (consisting of Fr. Mike, SDB, Fr. Joel, SDB and Fr. Paul, SDB) at me after the presentation, I was satisfied enough that I was able to overcome my trauma. Pass or retake, it doesn’t matter…I know that whatever the results may be, I know I was a winner. And after the results came, I was affirmed that I am a winner. I was graded 6.5…Probatus…and that means I passed!

With regards my thesis, I was given the suggestion by Fr. Joel, SDB, to work on the philosopher John Rawls, who just died in 2002. He gave me a chance to explore a whole new experience in the concept of justice, and I am deeply thankful for the opportunity he gave me. As of this moment, I am making the finishing touches (and revisions) to my undergraduate thesis entitled “Justice as Fairness in the Justice Theory of John Rawls”, and hoping that this could help me further to take my steps closer to finishing my tertiary academic life.

With these blessings that I received in my academic life, I cannot help but be thankful. I am now nearer to my dream of graduating this school year…and continue on becoming a better person.

What are my plans after college?
I plan to have my Master’s Degree, and teach…I believe that this is now my calling.

Sharing for the day (January 30, 2009)

“Back during the time when there were many threats against Don Bosco’s life, Grigio would come to his rescue…”

This was one of the ways on how Fr. Arnold Sanico, SDB described Grigio, the grey wolf that subsequently became the mascot of Don Bosco Schools. Relating one of those many instances in the life of Don Bosco where Grigio intervened, Fr. Arnold narrated this story:

“It was in the year 1852 when Grigio first appeared to Don Bosco. There was a time when there was someone following him; walking slow as he walked slowly, and fast as he went fast. When he turned around, he saw the man carrying a big piece of wood, intending to kill Don Bosco. Don Bosco tried to run, but at a distance, he saw a group of people with the intent of killing him as well. When all hope seems lost, however, Grigio came out of nowhere, and saved Don Bosco’s life. In fear, the people who wanted to kill him begged Don Bosco to send ‘his’ big dog away…he agreed, only with the agreement that they would never come after his life again”

Who was Grigio really, the “asong hindi naman aso”, according to Fr. Arnold?

In all of the instances when Grigio appeared in the life of Don Bosco, he can be seen as a guardian angel.

Fr. Arnold’s message to his talk this morning was “Whenever a man does what God wants, God will never fail to protect him”. It’s just like what Grigio was to Don Bosco, his protection from harm, and his guide when lost.

Don Bosco, in his lifetime, tried and tried with the best of what he can to do the Lord’s will. This was never left unnoticed. He received both sides of the coin with regards the response of the people of his time. Some admired him; while others hated him…hated him so much that they even planned to get rid of him. But what’s more important to see here is that Don Bosco did not do it for the adulation of the people…but for the glory of God. His efforts were not in vain…God came to his rescue in those trying times, and the fruits of his labor are plenty.

As the message of Fr. Arnold came to me, I remembered the last words of a saint in his dying moment. He said, “I have done my part, may Christ teach you to do yours”.

Bosconians, let us examine ourselves…Are we doing God’s will?
Who or what is our Grigio?

Let us pray to the Lord for this day that with the help and inspiration given to us by our founder and friend, St. John Bosco, we may learn to be strong in doing God’s will, and be confident in His unfailing protection over us.

St. John Bosco, pray for us.

Sharing for the day (January 29, 2009)

“May isang bata na ang gusto ay hanapin ang sikreto sa isang masayang buhay. Isang gabi, nanalangin sa sa Panginoon na ipakita sa kanya ang sagot sa kanyang paghahanap. Nang gabing iyon, nanaginip siya:

Nakita niya ang sarili niya sa isang kagubatan, at sa kagubatang iyon ay nakakita siya ng isang pilay na usa…may sugat sa binti. Takot and usa na baka maabutan siya ng mababangis na hayop, kaya nanalangin ito. Ngunit, pagkatapos ng kanyang panalangin ay may dumating na isang mabangis na lobo. Ngunit nakakamangha ang nakita ng bata…sa halip na kainin ng mabangis na lobo ang usa, nilapitan nya ito at dinilaan ang sugat nito. Dinalhan rin ng lobo ang usa ng pagkain. Nang gumaling na ang usa ay umalis na rin ang lobo.

Sa pagkakataong ito ay nagising na rin ang bata at sinabi niya sa kanyang sarili na para makamit nya ang tunay na masayang buhay, ay kailangan niyang gayahin ang usa…ipapaubaya na lang niya ang sarili niya sa Diyos.

Ngunit makalipas ang ilang araw ay tila hindi pa niya nakakamit ang gusto niyang masayang buhay. Muli siyang nagdasal sa Panginoon, ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay tila nagrereklamo siya na kung bakit hindi pa niya nakakamit ang masayang buhay. Muli, siya ay nanaginip:

Sa pagkakataong ito, nandoon pa rin siya sa kagubatan, ngunit kasama na niya ang Panginoon. Sinabi ng bata ang kanyang hinaing sa Panginoon kung bakit hindi pa siya nagiging masaya sa kabila ng pagtulad niya sa usa sa kanyang panaginip. Sabi ng Panginoon…”Hindi dapat ang usa ang iyong tinularan, kundi and lobo”.

====

This is the summarized story of what was related to the EPC (Educative Pastoral Community) of Don Bosco Canlubang by Rev. Fr. Rey dela Cruz, SDB, Rector of the Post-Novitiate Seminary.

Yesterday’s reflection talked about happiness of the self. Today, the message was clear: to be the givers and sharers of happiness to other people.

As the institution comes closer to its peak of the celebration, people from other places are crowding in, wanting and hoping to see a change of environment…like a breath of fresh air. Yes, we have prepared exhibits, programs and activities not only for the members of this institution but also for the visitors; but what matters most is that as we experience happiness as a whole, we are able to radiate happiness to each and every one of us…Bosconians or non-Bosconians alike.

Though I am not a Salesian, I was able to see in the lives of the Salesians around me the fulfillment of one of the guidelines of their Order, which is, Joy and Optimism. Much more, that Joy and Optimism that they have are not only kept within them, but shared with the rest of the community here. I firmly attest to that.

Going against the flow, just like the ferocious wolf that reached out and helped the deer back on its feet…can be really seen as happiness. Let us pray to the Lord with the help of St. John Bosco, that we may be always agents and sharers of happiness to one another.

St. John Bosco, pray for us.

sharing for the day (january 28, 2009)

I apologize for not being able to post my sharing for quite some time, I was back home during the weekend, and missed a few days of the novena.

First of all, we are so fortunate to have with us for the next couple of days the Provincial Superior of the Salesians of Don Bosco, Rev. Fr. Eli Cruz, SDB.

In his sharing this morning, after the wreath-laying ceremony, he spoke of many things…things that were timeless, new, or even funny. At this point, allow me to share some bits and pieces of his talk, as well as my personal insights for the day.

===

“To know the person, we must go back and see where he/she came from to know and understand the person in context”

To further illustrate this thought, Fr. Eli presented the certain words and from which they came from, like the words “hapunan”, “barkada”, and more. Why was it called hapunan? Because during the early times (when there was still no electricity, and light in the evening comes from the moon, stars and lamps), dinner happens in the late afternoon. Why is it called barkada? Because it came from the word “Banca” or boat, where it shows that barkadas are definitely “in the same boat”.

Fr. Eli began his talk with this to further instill to us that where we come from really matters, much like Don Bosco, whose roots and background gave rise to such a marvelous model, father and saint. Being Bosconians ourselves, we must always be reminded that we live and are taught to be good Christians and caring people. Fr. Eli further commented that he is inspired and touched with people, especially with Bosconians, who are strong in their resolve of following Christ, in one or many ways.

===

“The three things that Bosconians love: the Blessed Sacrament, our Holy Mother Mary, and the Pope.”

Fr. Eli mentioned this in line for his main topic in his sharing for this day, which is Don Bosco’s love for the Eucharist. Besides Mama Mary and the Pope, it is worthwhile to remember that Bosconians love the Holy Eucharist.

He then related a story of how Christians in Vietnam, when it was still under the complete dominion of Communism, were able to receive communion; in spite of fear of being severely punished for the faith. He said that during that time, the priest would place the host in bars of soap, and those who know it, comes and receives them.

During this part of his sharing, I remembered that Ms. Bot Bombase, our Student Affairs In-charge for the College Department, gave me a coin with the image of Don Bosco. In its back, there inscribed the following words, and I share the same prayer: “O Saint John Bosco, teach us to love Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament”.

===

“…It all depends on whose hands it is in…”

Fr. Eli gave a wonderful analogy for this part of the talk, with which I quote:

“In my hands, a basketball is worth 800 pesos…In the hands of Michael Jordan, a basketball is worth 800,000,000 pesos…it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a stick would be nothing but a stick…In the hands of Moses, a stick divided the sea, and helped saved people from slavery and oppression… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a slingshot would be nothing but a toy…in the hands of David, a slingshot helped to defeat Goliath… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a bread would just be a bread…In the hands of Christ, a bread would feed thousands… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a nail would be used by a carpenter to make and fix things…In Christ’s hands (and feet as well, for this matter), a nail becomes a symbol of our salvation… it all depends on whose hands it is in…”

===

“Who are you listening to?”

Again, Fr. Eli made a timely analogy with this part of his talk, with which again I quote:

Garfield… “I hate Mondays”

Gaara (of Naruto)…”I only love myself and I live only for myself…”

Winnie the Pooh…”It is so hard to be brave, especially if you are only a small animal”

The question is…who are you listening to?



With the many things that are thought and said in this present era of ours, we can’t help but be confused on what to do, what to hear, what to understand, and even what to believe. With this kind of situation that we’re in, what then should we do?

Psalm 118:8, which Fr. Eli mentioned in his talk, gives a clear answer to this: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to trust in men”…

===

For the remaining days of the novena and the celebration for the feast day of Saint John Bosco, please join me in prayer that with the help of our model and founder, we may…

Understand the present with the help of the past…

Love and devote ourselves to the Blessed Sacrament…

Give ourselves to God’s hands to be guided and protected…

Listen and live as faithful, moral and loving Christians…moreover, Bosconians.



Saint John Bosco. Pray for us.

at the edge...

People I know come to me when they have problems, hoping that with me, they’ll find answers…or even ways to find it…

But I have no one to go to when I’m the one in need…

Some people think I’m strong…you’re wrong, I’m weak…much more, I’m dying

I’m rejected, forgotten, unwanted and taken for granted…

I’m doing everything I can to deserve even a little, but even that little is taken away from me…

No one understands me, or even what I’m going through…

I'm important to others when I am of any use...

Maybe I deserve this…

My mind’s giving up, I don’t know until when I can hold on…if I know where to

sharing for the day (january 23, 2009): 2nd day of the novena to St. John Bosco

“Taga bundok sya, Bundok Makiling. Dating estudyante dito, at dati ring nagtitinda sa canteen…
Ngayon, nandito pa rin sya, at na-promote: nakatambay na siya sa third floor…”

Those were just some descriptions that Bro. Jomar Castillo (a post novitiate brother and a classmate of mine) made to tell a little story, and impart some inspiring thought to the college students and the lay mission partners of Don Bosco College this afternoon, the second day of the novena to Saint John Bosco.

Bro. Jomar was talking about Kuya Elmer, our very industrious and simple technical assistant for the college department. He recounted his early years in this institution, on how he met Kuya Elmer, and on how he came to idolize him; being as simple and as unassuming as he is.
====
He then made a simple recollection on how he struggled during his senior year in college, still here in Don Bosco, during the time that he was doing his thesis. At those trying times, he was consoled by his adviser, Ma’am Lyn Tamayo (our former college guidance counselor), who told him: “Kung saan mahirap, dun ka!”
====
He then recounted some experiences of St. John Bosco wherein he encountered problems and hardships, like going to school far away from home when he was still a kid; and others like the things he had to deal with when he established the Oratory and the Society of Salesians of Don Bosco.
====
What’s the connection between his three sharings?

“Fire-tried Gold”… is the theme for this year’s Foundation Week celebration, marking the 46th year of the presence of Don Bosco here in Canlubang.

Bro. Jomar stated that like the theme, Don Bosco, Kuya Elmer, and even he, were made stronger by continuous hardships. Truly, hardships and problems are a constant companion of anyone…it’s inevitable. However, when we come to face these hardships, we grow stronger…and wiser in the process.

There may be a lot of trials, problems and hardships that all of us are experiencing. But with the courage to face these can make us all the more prepared for all that would still happen in our lives. Could it be problems at home work, school, or even with everything in life itself…“don’t falter, stand up, count on our Lord’s guidance and help, and choose to win over whatever life would throw at us to bring us down.”

St. John Bosco…pray for us.